He is dead!
For the first time in this century, and the second time in history, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin is dead. In a shocking departure from his first peaceful passing, this second more public death shocked residents of New York's Lower East Side by its extremely violent nature.
The former Soviet leader's beheading appears to be the distinctive handiwork of Mexican narco-terrorists, though such incidents are undoubtedly unusual this far north. While the NYPD does not appear to have noticed that such a gruesome crime has taken place on its roof, the Soviet nation once again mourns his passing.
Memento mori
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